


Watch me as I'm going down

by dytabytes, Sophie



Category: Batman (Millerverse), DCU
Genre: Drug Use, M/M, Rough Sex, Unrequited Love, dubcon, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-23
Updated: 2010-11-23
Packaged: 2017-10-13 08:19:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/135140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dytabytes/pseuds/dytabytes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophie/pseuds/Sophie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy and Dick get high and have subsequent rough sex that is fueled by their respective issues about life (and by life, we mean their old mentors).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watch me as I'm going down

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is not theoretically Bruce/Dick, but Dick has serious unresolved sexual tension going on for Bruce that is being exploited more than a little.
> 
> This is set in the middle of a not-yet-written Millerverse AU. Dick was fired and is living on the streets, where he met Roy who is a junkie, and they're sort of friends. Dick has really huge issues about Bruce, the gist of being that he has Stockholm Syndrome from being kidnapped and now that he's been thrown away, it's killing him inside. Roy's issues are also numerous and include huge control issues.

Dick isn't used to the drugs as much as Roy is -- of course not. When Roy offered, though, he took them. Hey, he has nothing to lose, so why not? No one will say shit because no one cares for him, any way. No one looked for him and now there's _Jason_ where he used to be and yeah, he's going to get as high as he fucking wants right now. He knows he's gone and not alert and he'd never have allowed anything like this to happen to him _before_ , but now he doesn't care at all.

He's lying on a bed that isn't his and isn't Roy's either, and actually he's not sure whose it is, but he doesn't mind because he's also not quite sure where the ceiling is exactly and that seems more important. He reaches up and he can't touch it. It must be higher than it looks. Or maybe his arm is shorter. He lets his arm fall back on the bed and it hits Roy's legs. He doesn't care about that, either. He just leaves it there, wondering what's going on with Bruce and wondering if he could stop thinking about Bruce. Probably not.

Roy is beside him, sitting with his legs sprawled out across the bed. He sucks on a cigarette every so often because he likes watching the smoke curl when he's high. At least, that's what he told Dick. He's also using to forget, to numb everything inside him. Dick never asked if it worked, because neither of them wants to make Roy think about Ollie. He always gets this dead-eyed look that lasts for the rest of the night.

Roy puffs out smoke as he nudges Dick's leg with his own.

"Hey. You awake?" The question wasn't abrupt or harsh like Bruce's would have been -- like Batman's would have been -- but Dick was thinking about his old mentor just as Roy talked and Roy's voice is rolling lower than usual, smoke-rough and growling. It's so easy to slide into old habits.

"Yes," Dick answers before thinking, reflexively opening his eyes and trying to sound more alert than he is. He corrects himself right away, tensing up and taking a deep breath in. "Yeah..." He forces himself to relax. This is just Roy, right? "Don't know for how long."

Roy raises an eyebrow and Dick doesn't know where his mind went just now, but it's not anywhere _good_ , not with the way his eyes are eyes are gleaming. The drugs always shorten his temper, make him quicker to speak and act... and they also make him a little paranoid, even though Roy denies it.

"The fuck?" Before Dick can react, Roy rolls over on top of him, fisting his hands in his shirt and glaring down. "You got a problem with me, punk?"

This is a situation Dick has been in more than once. In fact, it's too close and suddenly he's scared and uncertain and twelve all over again. _Horned shadows, black cape whipping at his calves, dark hands and vicious blows_. It's so easy to shut himself down and give up control, so easy to just stop thinking, because while he's wincing away from the blow he's expecting, it's familiar and it's going straight to his cock.

"Nothing! I'm sorry, I don't have any." _Please don't hit me. Please hit me. Please, just don't leave._ "I never meant to --" Dick runs out of words, blinking up at Roy in a panic. He catches a flash of cold eyes and a cruel smile before Roy surges forward.

"What did you say? _Speak. Up._ " A little more of a snarl creeps into Roy's voice as he uses his weight to press Dick down, pin him to the mattress and Dick winces and shuts his eyes tight. The man over him is suddenly immense and powerful and more than he should be in the crazy whirl of the night and Dick's thoughts are wavering between everything he hates and loves about Batman. A little voice in the back of his head is whispering he should really, _really_ open his eyes so he can see Roy, so he can be reminded who's pinning him to the bed, but why not wait for just a little longer? Why not lose himself in this not-really-a-nightmare? After all, if he does as he's asked, maybe Batman will be happy. Maybe he'll see he was mistaken all along and take Dick back.

"I'm sorry," Dick murmurs, and he's not apologising to Roy, anymore. It's not the first time he's told Batman he's sorry, but it _is_ the first time he's hoped that it might work.

It doesn't. Roy hesitates for half a second before he rocks his body into Dick's erection and laughs softly under his breath. He doesn't know, _can't_ know what's making Dick act this way, but apparently he thinks it's fun to play this game, anyway.

"Sorry?" He pushes his leg between Dick's, grinding their bodies together so he can get better leverage, get a hand around Dick's throat. He's pulling Dick up a little like that, tilting his head so that they're facing each other and it sends a thrill down Dick's spine. It takes a lot of control for him to stay still and his breathing speeds up even though he's trying to stay calm. He can't squirm, can't move or whimper. He's not _allowed_.

"You _disrespect_ me, and all I get is a motherfucking 'I'm sorry'? Why should I believe what you're saying?" He grinds up against Dick in a way that makes it impossible for him not to give some kind of response.

He loves this. He hates this. He's small and useless and not good enough, and he can hear the insults echoing over and over again in his head, but he hears _Batman_ , and it's everything he ever wanted because Batman never touched him like this, never even came close, and Dick has to take what he can get.

He opens his eyes but looks down at nothing.

"I never disrespected you. I'd _never_." Dick's voice is filled with fear and submission but there's still a note of challenge there. Batman had never liked that, but he could never truly get rid of it either. "I don't know what I _did_."

Roy grins and that wedge of white teeth gleams in the darkness even though his face is shadowed.

"Actions speak louder than words." One hand is still around Dick's throat, threatening and huge and perfect, but the other is moving Dick's hand down to the growing bulge in Roy's pants. "Do I have to spell it out for you?" His voice is still low, but maybe it's a little gentler, a little bit more of a purr, and it might be a sign that Dick should say no _now_ or shut up, but Dick ignores that. This is Bruce and anything that doesn't relate to his orders isn't worth paying attention to.

Instead of speaking, he nods his agreement, the pressure against his throat growing for a second. Slowly, he presses against Roy's cock through the clothes, tracing the shape of it. He's never done anything like this with someone before, never thought he'd get to because he's only ever wanted one person, and he wasn't good enough for him. He has to be good enough now.

"Tell me what to do? I don't --" Dick fights his blush down and suddenly decides that he can't finish that sentence, but it's too late. The hand on his throat lets go, and Dick's head drops back down to the bed again.

"Figure it out, stupid. It's not that difficult."

Dick knew he shouldn't have said anything, just _knew_ it. He takes in a ragged breath and reaches for Roy's pants with his other hand so he can work on undoing the belt, button and zipper. He's not sure he can do it but he has to, anyway. He wants to so badly it hurts him, a pressure settling against his chest from the inside. After what feels like forever, he's pushing Roy's pants and boxers out of the way and has his hand around his cock.

"Yeah, just like that." He's so hard, already getting so wet and Dick never leaks precum like that ever. It makes him want to thrust up so _he_ can get more friction out of this. He doesn't, though: this isn't about him, it's about _the other_ , whoever that may be in his head and who it is really, so he closes his eyes again and grips a bit harder, looking for the right stroke, the right pace, the right everything.

There's a groan from up above, choked and gasping, but soon enough, Roy tenses and Dick can tell what's coming before the words are out of Roy's mouth.

"Fuck it." The words are angry. "You're doing it wrong."

And fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. Always -- he always screws up. It's Dick's fault for not doing this right, that he's getting pushed away again. Dick's tensing up again, but he can't say anything that will make Roy -- Batman -- whoever angrier at him.

"I don't have time to teach you how to do it right. Roll over."

The orders keep going to his groin. He's as hard as ever through the humiliation and he wants to make this right, so Dick turns over quickly as soon as Roy removes his hand from his throat. He can listen -- he'll show how well he can listen.

Roy reaches around and works Dick's pants open with rough, efficient motions, and the moment he's got them open, he's pulling them down around Dick's knees. Dick had managed to spread pre-cum down the sides of his cock, but Roy spits in his hand and slicks himself up more just in case. As if that would ever be enough.

"Now just relax and be _good_ and this won't hurt." That's a lie, Dick doesn't believe the half-promise when it's being spoken, but Roy's body is flush against Dick's, pinning him down, so it's not like Dick can do anything about the fact that Roy is pushing into him, slowly forcing himself inside. It _hurts_. Dick can't cry out, though, can't tell him to stop because it's his fault. He should just be happy that he's getting someone this hard, that someone _wants_ him because he wasn't good enough before. This is the second chance he never thought he'd get.

So Dick clutches the blankets hard and bites his lower lip, tightening his eyes closed. He can't relax, but he can deal. And that's exactly what he'll do.

It's slow at first, it's not nearly wet enough, and Roy is taking his time, but his mouth is right up against Dick's neck, biting softly at the skin. It's reassuring in a way, because this is what's supposed to happen. It feels good and he wants this, even with the pain. This isn't anything like being stabbed in the leg by some criminal. This is exquisite and he'd take it again and again if it meant Batman's cock was inside him. If it meant someone else's --

No, he can think what he wants, he can think that this _is_ Batman, even more so when Roy wraps his hands around Dick's hips, pulls him up just a bit and the next thrust hits him _somewhere_ and for a second, pleasure overcomes pain. Batman wouldn't care about Dick enough to use lube but he'd still be _there_ for him, because Dick needs him just like he always has.

Roy laughs harshly, uses the new space between Dick's hips and the bed to curl an arm around and fist Dick in his hand.

"Like that, huh?" Roy thrusts again, a short movement, just enough to shove himself up against that spot again. Dick doesn't cry out this time because he's ready for it now, but he still lets a muffled sound of lust sink into the mattress.

"Tell me, or I'll stop. And I don't think either of us would like that." Roy punctuates the sentence with teeth, scraping down to mark the junction of Dick's neck and shoulder.

Dick moans, panicking. No. _No_ , Roy can't stop, not now. Batman would be disappointed if he had to stop, he'd hate Dick for not being able to be good enough, and then Dick would hate himself.

"Yes, _yes_ I like it!" Maybe he's too loud and his voice shaking, but this can't end. He won't let it. "Don't stop. Please, don't stop. Do what you want -- anything you want."

"Mm. Of course you like it." Roy's grip tightens for a moment, then his hand slides around Dick's balls, squeezing and toying with them. "You've wanted this since forever, haven't you?" Dick is too far gone to realise that Roy has no idea what he's saying, dirty words dropping out of his mouth more because they feel right than because he really means them. He's slowly getting lost in the rhythm Roy is figuring out, short jerking thrusts into Dick that are just enough to give Roy the friction he needs, but not really giving Dick what he wants.

"Tell me you want this. _Show_ me you want it."

Dick bites back a sobbing moan and tries catching up his breath. "I have. I always wanted this. I want this _now_." He pushes back against Roy in a fast little move. The angle isn't right and it hurts more than anything else, but that didn't matter before and it doesn't now. He's there to please the other, to be used, and he wants it this way. He doesn't deserve anything for himself, not yet, so he moves to get a better leverage, hauling himself on his forearms and pushes back again, in time with Roy's thrust this time.

"I want this so much. Please. _Please_." Another push, and Dick hears Roy gasping when he moves back, so he does it again. The pain is mixing itself up with the pleasure, numbing Dick all over. He's not lying now. He wants this, wants Roy to come inside him and to tell him he did a good job. He wants this more than anything else right now.

Roy makes a small satisfied sound, as if Dick is saying just the right things. "Again." Dick's breathing is harsh and uneven now and he's lost in the sensations attacking him from _everywhere_. He has to follow orders, though, remembering that even now, so he pushes back right away, a low, hissing moan escaping from between his teeth because the friction is bad, worse with every thrust and just right, anyway. Batman has always hurt him and pleased him both.

 _Tell me I'm doing good. Am I doing good?_

Dick can feel his heart pounding in his ears, loud and irregular, and even when he'd like to slow down just for a minute, just for a second, he doesn't. Roy is murmuring in his ear, goading him on as he moves just like he's supposed to. "That's right, that's great, keep --" And then he lets out a shuddering moan. It's something like 'Yes' but maybe like 'Dick', neither of them knows or cares, and he's pulling Dick down onto his cock as he comes. There will be hand-shaped bruises on Dick's hips later, but that just makes it all the better somehow, knowing that he's been marked as... as someone else's.

There's a small silent moment between them as they catch their breaths. Dick is still achingly hard even when Roy ruffles his hair and pulls out and he has to bite back a groan. Next thing he knows, Roy is murmuring something that doesn't quite make sense like 'that was good, you're great' before rolling over and falling asleep.

Dick would have been more disappointed, but he had been expecting to be ignored. He always ends up this way, used, thrown away and left to take care of himself. He crawls on the other side of the bed, buries his head in a pillow and jerks off fast and hard, thinking about the feel of Batman inside him, telling him he's a good boy, that he's doing great. He comes in moments, then wipes it off on the side of the mattress and falls asleep on his stomach.


End file.
